Have you ever had a loss? A person near and dear? Well five years ago I had that loss. My father passed. The family went through all the motion with his passing. Before I knew it, the memory of my dad was, well a memory.
As time went on, I never really felt the loss. They say there is a morning period, a grieving period and time where you really feel the loss. But this never came. I moved on. I started to live my life and deal with the day today issues of life.
I reestablished myself and jumped headfirst in life. I was able move through each day and not think of the loss. Everyday day got easier and easier. Then the next thing I knew the years were passing by. Time was flying by faster than one could imagine.
Occasionally, I would think of him. My brother and I would reminisce of things of the past. We would share stories of the good the bad and the ugly. I asked him at one time did he miss dad? His answer was no! So, you see I guess everybody has their own way of dealing with loss.
Well, there was one night, I was sitting by myself watching a TV program. Don't ask me why but for some reason this program set something off in my mind that was deep. Deep with the memory of my dad. Memories started to flood my mind of him. Most of the memories were good. The bad ones were just washed away. I sat there and stared at this TV set, and the tears started to flow down my face.
For the first time in almost six years, I felt grief, pain and hurt for a man who raised me. I don't know why it took so long for me to miss my dad and I don't know why I held it inside of me for so long. But on this night, I felt the loss. The loss of a man who was good to me in so many ways. As I sat there, I cried harder and harder sobbing like a baby.
Loss, it's something that we all must go through and deal with it in our own ways. In some cultures, the loss or death of someone means the grieving for a year until life can go back to normal. In my case it was six years of wondering why I didn't feel the loss of my father.
Well, I must tell you now that I've gone through this moment in my life to deal with loss I feel so much better about my dad and how things turned out between the two of us. God rest his soul.
Love you, dad.
